Lines I Wish I Had Written: Roger Ebert on Final Destination 5

I expect this movie to make a lot of money at the box office, spent by fans eager to see still more cool ways for hot young characters to be slaughtered. My review will not be read by any of these people. They know what they enjoy. They don’t want no damn movies with damn surprises. I am always pleased when moviegoers have a good time; perhaps they will return to a theater and someday see a good movie by accident, and it will start them thinking.

A hopeful and generous thought. The only catch, alas, is that it is much harder to make a good movie by accident than to see one by accident; and since making good movies is not Hollywood’s top priority, the odds of accidentally seeing a good one are comfortably low.